Bloom (2016)

by City Of Auburn

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  • Bloom (CD)
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I've longed to understand the ways of life, the pattern and the twist of all the ways that this will turn. I've longed to understand my life. I've watched them all go on their separate ways, I've watched them all die slowly day by day. It hurt my eyes to see my friends fall drunk, destruction of their worth displayed. If I knew the multitude of your pain, then I would stretch my arms miles wide and wrap you up in them, be a comfort for your pain. These lonely hearts they fall to their knees and cry 'Why?' I've watched them all go on their separate ways and dear God, how far have we all gone? See them all gather inside this place. I've been where they are now, I feel what they do. I know you feel it all, grinding in your head. You try to settle down to make sense, but it all falls through your hands. But he'll come down in grace, with love in his heart. He'll come down and bring understanding.
Surrender all you think you are. I'm hurting in every way right now. I've spent these nights around this room. I'm calling out your name and I pray you call out mine, cause I find that even in the darkest times you're in the midst of it, the depth of all I see, and your love it takes me, a light to guide me on. It goes on. I've felt more than I want to feel. I've never felt this pain like the one I feel right now. This I know, that even in the darkest times you're in the midst of it, the depth of all I see and your grace sustains me, a life to call your own. It goes on. I'm running in and out of disintegration. I'm trying to do this on my own but I know I'm such a fraud. I know that all you are is all for me, so I'm running. GO ON. DON'T STOP. RUN WITH ALL YOU ARE. DON'T STOP.
I've got things hanging on my heart. I think I'll keep it all to myself, but this pain is harder to deal with than I did imagine. and I'm angry at myself, and It's been that way for a while and it's a matter of time of when I'll break or I'll give up. I'm trying to keep my head up high. I'm trying. Caught my conscience run straight to the back room. I always find myself wondering back somewhere else further away from you. It keeps me up at night. Guilt's tearing up my mind. These are the nights it's hard to talk to God, and I don't think that I can face him for what I've done. Stay closer, stay by my side. It's getting harder by day by night. If I gave it all to you, would you take it? Cause there's not a part of me that I can love myself for. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel imperfect. I want to open up, get things back together. Watch me unfold so you can love me whole. I want to open up. I want to open up. I want to open up.
Close your eyes. You're safe here, it's you and I. Let's take these moments and dry your eyes. I've heard it all, the story you've told and my heart breaks of what has unfold. Before their eyes they worship, see full the lie. Let's put it on billboards, let's push it on screen! Let's flash it in lights and glamorize! Let's watch the world bleed out all of its love and intimacy. What have we done? We sell them off, we sell them off. It's destroying us. What have we done? We sell them off, we sell them off. Will we ever see a change? Lovers tread, lovers drown under the weight of such evil profound, and now she stands here in front of me. She told me what he did to her and oh God, I hate what we've done. I hate it all. It's so hard to love. It's destroying us. Is this really what we're buying?
Indecision 04:42
I am in a swarm of events, they keep drowning out where my footing should be now. It's hard to see all the turns and not have a sight where all the roads will end up now. Did I fall too far from the very end? Cause all I am feels so stretched out, and I know I should be more trusting. I'm trying to feel this out right now. I'm trying to be all right, but it's still hanging there. I'm trying to feel this out right now. I have come to the terms, the burden on my back has made it harder to be strong and stand up straight, so I fell hard and my knees are broke and now that I can't run away from you I pray to God that they won't heal. Jesus it's you I'm trusting.
I've walked so long now, I've looked inside the darkest part of me. Its left me all cold. And this affliction is the only thing that's wrapped up in my head, that won't heal in time. All through this life it'll hurt, yeah I know I'm sure. Feel the price of being mature. I feel it rising up. I feel it all exposed. This will take everything in me to let this go. I don't want to hold on. I want to get my sleep at night. I don't want to be bitter at you anymore. I want to move on. I'm going to move on and I'll pray for you. Captive, no more. Carry his grace.
Wither 04:16
There I was awake that night, I laid there on my side. I never thought once I could carry all this much. It all has brought me to my knees and for a moment I swore I forgot to breathe. What If I don't want to fight back this time? Oh, Constructor! Don't stop building me. I'm much too fragile, I'll fall apart. Oh, my father! Can we meet where your arms swing wide? Can you collapse me in? There I was awake in fright and I prayed to God that he'd end my life. No height of pain can be worth all this trouble. Is this where I am to bloom? Cause my defense has lost its effect, and the heartaches they're getting so much stronger. I was caught laid bare and he met me here so it's bound change sometime, you know?
I believe for my dreams, for everything in its right place, for everything in its due time to challenge me for my advantage. I believe for my dreams but there will be an arrow in my heel to bring me down. Through this, a silence will arise in me. Will there be slumber when this is all over me? I know it'll get colder once I get older, stay with me. I will search for my soul. In bitter air, in candlelight, dressed in scents of incense. Your spirit lives in me; a power over death, let it rise in me. As the fall sets throughout me, you remain here with me. I refuse to be destroyed.
Fold 04:34
Where am I to lay my head? What am I to do if not for us? What if I am not enough for them? We'll see. What if my hands can't build up the home? We lose everything we have, what we claim to own. What if I am not enough for them? We'll see. Your promises alight, glory through the night. I failed to keep myself up high, but you are strong for me. What if all my cards begin to fold? The things I treasure in my hands will not be mine to hold. It's such a bitter thought inside my head. Please leave, please leave. Maybe it's that I fear too much, that everything I pre-conceive just stems from insecurity. I have the hope that it's not as bad as what it seems. We'll see. (I just want to know that everything's going to be okay). I failed to wonder, I fall into me. I have not loved you like you have loved me. I had a dream, it's fading from me. It's all I want to see. Lord can you help me with my disbelief? You're all that I long for, I choose to believe. I had a dream, It's fading from me. It's all I want to see. It's all I want to see.


the debut full-length record from city of auburn


released October 14, 2016

album engineered and produced by james motter of reflektion productions
drums recorded at horner hall studios
all other instruments recorded at townhouse 3D
mastered by alex goodenough
all songs written and performed by michael osborn
additional vocals on track 4 performed by jake potter of crucify the flesh
guitar solo on track 5 and 8 performed by jordan shepherd
additional bass on track 2 by luke weeks
additional pads and keyboards by james motter
album photography by laura potter photography
album layout by erin bain

thank you


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City Of Auburn Mc Kinney, Texas


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